INSINCERE WAKE UP CALLS OF THE GIRLFRIEND NATURE
by sylv-vies
Summary: Bella drags Edward out of bed monday morning. “Baby, seriously, we’ve got assholes to tolerate for six hours today. Get up or we’ll be late for the douche bag congregation where everyone brags about what European private beach they rented.”


below is pure, untainted, uneditied FLUFF. consume it rat sucker.

and nada, i _**do not own**_.

* * *

The Monday we returned from winter break, I was awoken by Justin fucking Timberlake blaring from my stereo.

I groaned, fighting the pop music, the awake-ness. I pulled the pillow over my head, but all the high notes still made me cringe.

Just - shit.

And who the fuck messed with my stereo?

"GET UP!"

The shriek jolted me from my sleepy haze for a moment.

My sister?

Jesus, Alice and her -

"Edward, baby, get up! We've got school!" She sang.

No.

Wait.

My girlfriend.

Just, what the _fuck_?

Had hell fuckin _frozen_ over?

My girl moaned and groaned through mornings and wasn't halfway agreeable till at least three cups of coffee into ten o'clock.

And what was up with the drill sergeant wake up thing? No sweet sloppy kisses?

Bitch.

"Wake up buttercup, wake up and smell that sunshine –"Something bounced onto my bed and attempted to throw the covers back. "Get _up_ Edward!"

"No," It came out all muffled from my pillow.

"C'mon-"

"Leave. Go way."

"Baby, seriously, we've got assholes to tolerate for six hours today. Get up or we'll be late for the douche bag congregation where everyone brags about what European private beach they rented."

"Don't care."

"You've got a paper due –"

"I'll email it."

"And I brought Cinnamon Cappuccinos and Vanilla Lattes and an Espresso and Pumpkin Spice Frappucinnos and even a Mocha –"

I snorted. "What are you, the Starbucks Fairy?"

"Shut up. It's tasty."

"Well, I don't drink that fancy, chocolate drizzled shit. Give me home brewed or bust."

I heard her sigh.

"You can't just skip the first day back!"

"Watch me."

"College is really gonna love that."

"Pssh. Please. As long as Daddy's bank account stays considerably massive they won't give a flying fuck what shit I do."

"Well, what about me?"

"What about you?"

"You're not just gonna leave me to fend for myself are you?"

"Don't play damsel in distress, you fucking feminist."

"I'm not. I can't be around those shitty, shallow people without you. I need my man." And she didn't sound like she was joking either.

"Well, yeah, just, grow a pair or something. Cause I'm staying home, regardless of class and attendance and colleges and their ass backwards acceptance terms."

She stayed silent.

I peeked out at her from under my arm.

She was biting her lip and her eyes were all big and conflicted. She looked different today. She was staring at the floor.

"Hey," I grabbed her chin and pulled her on top of me. "Stay with me."

Her warm body melded into mine and I nuzzled into her neck, breathing in soap and warm. Her hands beat halfheartedly at my chest for a second, but then they too relaxed.

Good girl.

"Not all of us can guarantee a sure spot like that while staying home every other day." She murmured.

"Poor fuckers."

"I'm serious Edward. I can't keep doing this."

"Yeah you can. I already told you. I'm paying."

"No you're not. I can take care of myself perfectly fine. I'll work my way through college, just like I have my entire life, and I don't need to be treated like some fucking charity case you picked up off the street and have to pity and –"

I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up. Look, haven't we already been over his like one hundred and fucking one times? It's not because I think you're weak. It's cause I'm selfish and I can't not have you with me."

She scowled. But her eyes warmed all mushy like, and that was always how I knew that she didn't _really_ object to me paying.

She burrowed into my chest and I pulled her closer.

The sun glinted off her hair, making it red in places, especially where it curled around her face.

Her boot covered feet tangled with mine while my hands ran down her shoulder blades, across her back.

Silky shirt, she had on. Purple.

I balled it in my fist loosely.

"Who dressed you?"

She shrugged against me. "Who else?"

"Alice."

"The one and only."

"Why?"

She sighed.

"Cause she wanted me to be sexy and hot and strong and fierce and all the other Tyra Banks adjectives I'm not."

"So she dressed you in purple silk? Like that's going to make you instant she-woman-model?"

She shrugged again.

She began to play with the hem of my shirt while I let my mind wander.

I snickered.

"What?"

"I was just trying to imagine you commanding a run way. Strutting and shit. You fell like five times and one of your tits was hanging out of the skimpy little dress they had you in."

I grinned at her and she hid her head in the crook of my arm and blushed.

"Thanks." She said bitterly.

Well, ah, fuck. I hurt her.

"Oh Bell." I grabbed her face. "I was just joking. I'd let you trip all over me any day."

She still wouldn't meet my eyes. "Baby, please. You silly girl. You're beautiful." I leaned down and kissed her soundly, pulling the covers up over our heads so we could hide away from her leaving.

She giggled a little and pressed into me again, kicking off her shoes as she settled.

Then she wiggled her tongue between my lips and began to lap at my teeth.

I choked and drew back a little.

"What?" Her eyebrows furrowed and her big eyes got all wide and confused.

"Just," I coughed again. "A little warning next time Bell."

"Oh. Um so . . . I'm gonna shove my tongue down your throat in a sec, kay?" And she actually looked nervous.

Ridiculous.

"Now you don't have to make it go and make it a question Bell–"

Then her lips were back on mine and I grinned.

I wrapped a lazy arm around her shoulders, then gripped her head in my hands, angling her down. She tasted like toothpaste and Starbucks and Bella, and I relished in it.

Her fingers slithered into my hair and she tugged at the roots, her warm mouth against mine, her body molding against my own, the comforting weight of her all around me.

I trailed my other hand down her side and stuck it in her back jeans pocket, scooting her forward so I could kiss her deeper.

I broke away breathlessly. "So does this mean you're staying?"

She stared at me for a moment, and then yanked me back toward her, laughing.

Against my lips: "You're such a moron."

Our lips met again, dancing around sloppily in that way they do when you know time is on your side. She shifted, breathing out her nose sharply.

The little puff of scented air hit my nose and I chuckled.

Tendrils of her hair spilled around us under the covers, making a curtain even under the blankets. The air near our faces was hot and swirly.

"Bell?" I murmured.

"What?" Her tongue darted back into my mouth, feeling around.

I pushed her face back half an inch, trying to get the words out.

"Come to Vegas with me."

She pulled back sharply.

I stared at her. The wide eyes, the heaving chest.

"Why?" She whispered.

She knew why.

"Because. Because we're skipping school to make out and I thought that while we're at it, we should go do what every irresponsible teenage couple dreams of. Eloping." I grinned.

But inside, my stomach churned.

Maybe my light bulb, spur of the moment brilliant idea was actually . . . bad.

And scaring her.

Shit.

But then something changed in her stunned expression. A quirk of the lips, a spark in her brown eyes.

She smiled stupidly at me.

"Sure. We'll wear sweatshirts and jeans and the get drunk afterwards."

"Yeah. Now pinky swear you won't bail out on me."

She lifted her hand and stuck out her little finger. I wrapped my own around hers and shook firmly.

"I won't bail." She said. "I won't bail."

She stared at me, her face going serious, and for a moment I was worried.

But then she opened her mouth.

"I love you."

Ahah. The difference today – I'd figured it out.

It was her lips. She was wearing some fruity berry lip gloss.

Her teeth came out over her lip as I stared at it, and I was reminded that she was nervous and I needed to say something.

"I love you too."

She sighed out into my neck, eyes still looking at me. Brown and pretty. But not really brown – they were more a deep, dark hazel that was covered mostly by the splotches of chocolate and gold.

God, I was so whipped.

But did I care?

I thought about it for a sec.

Nope.

Obviously.

We were running off together to elope.

"Edward," Bella breathed.

"Hmm?"

Her fingers twisted a piece of my hair and I rubbed circles into her hip.

Her eyes met mine again, and she seemed so sweet, so beautiful with her lips slightly stuck out and her hair a mess around her head.

"We're taking my car."

"Oh, _fuck_ no."

* * *

LOVE IS GREAT DARLIN. EVEN IF IT MAKES TEENS RUN OFF AND DO STUPID FUCKIN THINGS.

SO SPREAD IT, HOWEVER IDIOTIC, AND LEAVE ME SOME REVIEWS.

or not. XD


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